Red Flag 7 - He is Self-Center
Because abusers’ charm is their ability to put forward a good impression, their self-centeredness may not always be apparent in the beginning, but there are symptoms you can watch for. Notice whether he does a lot more than his share of the talking, listens poorly when you speak, and chronically shifts the topic of conversation back to himself.
Self-centeredness is a personality characteristic that is highly resistant to change, as it has deep roots in either profound ENTITLEMENT (in abusers) or to server early emotional injuries (in non-abusers)… some abusers have both.
Red Flag 8 - He Abuses Drugs or Alcohol
Be especially careful if he pressures you to participate in substance use with him. Although substances do not cause partner abuse, they often go hand in hand. He may try to hook you into believing that you can help him get clean and sober; substance abusers are often "just about" to quit.
Red Flag 9 - He Pressures You for Sex
Yes, yes... I know what you guys are thinking or are going to say... anyway... just read, ok?
"This warning sign is always important, but even more so for teenagers and young adult men. Not respecting your wishes or feelings regarding sex speaks of exploitation, which in turns goes with abuse." Said Lundy Bancroft.
Why is this important? Well, it's important because if he sees his "need" for sex as more important than your wishes or feelings, the it's a sign that he sees women as sex objects and not human beings. Any man who says that you need to have sex with him to prove that you love him and care for him, and that if you don't, he will find someone who does... let him go.
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