Lead Your Heart - Away by Seeing the RED FLAGS of Abusers (Flag 1)

 

Red Flag 1 -  He speaks disrespectfully about his former partners.

Some anger and resentment toward an ex-partner is normal.  However, BEWARE of men who are very focused on their bitterness or who tell you about it inappropriately early on in your dating. 

Be extremely careful of men who talks about women from their past in degrading or condescending ways or who finds fault in EVERYTHING the women did, even if it was a good thing... OR who characterizes himself as a victim of abuse by women.

Be on the alert, with all your antennas up, if they say that their previous wife or girlfriend falsely accused them of being abusive; the great majority of reports of abuse are accurate. 

When other women consider them abusive, ALWAYS find a way to get their side of the story.  Even if you end up not believing their stories... you will at least know the behaviors to watch out for... just in case. 

Be cautious and any man who admits to abusing a former partner... but claims that he circumstances were exceptional, blames it on her, or blames it on alcohol or immaturity.
                                                                                                                          
Be cautious of men who say that you are nothing like the other women in their lives... that you are the first partner to treat them well, or that earlier women have not understood them... this will make you attempt to work doubly hard to prove that you aren't like those other women... ONE of your foot is already in the trap.  It won't be long before they start telling you that you are "just like the rest of them." 

A few abusers have the opposite approach... which is to glorify and elevate their former partners so that you feel like you can never quite compete.  If they start to lament about the fact that you aren't as sexy, athletic, domestic, or successful as the women who went before you, chances are that you will NOT measure up any better later on... no matter how hard you try.  They want to feel one up on you so that they can have the upper hand.

Take note of whether they accept ANY responsibility for what went wrong in their previous relationships.  If everything was always the women's fault, you will soon be to blame for all difficulties in the new relationship.