Red Flag 4 - He is Controlling
Controlling behavior is actually very subtle... at first, it's just a typical man who takes charge and is decisive... it is usually so subtle that you would never thought it was abuse.
He might drop a comment here or there... about your clothes, your looks, etc... he might say that you dress is too short... too sexy... or that your burmuda shorts are too old fashion... he might start being a little too negative about your family or one of your good friends. I remember that after our wedding... my ex and I dropped my friend off at her house after the reception. She and I hugged and said our good-byes (it was the last time I saw her). When I got back into the car, he said, looking at her back "Too bad we don't have a d!ck for you."
I looked at him in surprise, "What are you are talking about?" I asked him. "She came to our wedding, not to look for a boyfriend or anything."
He said, "Well, it's true. We don't have a d!ck for her." I was very upset and argued with him (on my wedding night), but did not know enough at the time to see that it was a red flag.
At first, abusive men tell their partner that they are crazy about her... so completely in love that they want to spend as much time as possible with her. Many starts to pressure her to spend more time with them... and anyone or anything that takes away her time or attention becomes targets for them to start taking away from her... either by saying negative things or by getting upset/her, among many other things.
Some makes a woman feel like they really care about her life because they start to give advice... often too much.... about how she ought to manage her life and show hints of impatience when she resists his recommendation s or suggestions... and if she doesn't share their opinions about politics, personal relationships, music, or other tastes... they start to act bothered and hurt....
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